police, n.One-Liners

The police want to interview meStrange, I didn't even apply for a job

A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikesI told him my dogs don't even own bikes

Anything you do say may be given in evidence"Just don't hit me again, officer!"

Sorry, OfficerI thought you wanted to race…

How fast do you think you were going?' '60mph, Officer?' 'Try 135.'So I shut the door and drove as fast as I could

The police officer at your front door is never a stripper when you need them to be.

."Sargent, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine." "10 kilograms you say, Sargent?" "Yeah, 5 kilograms, Sargent." "Ok, this is serious. We should turn that 1 Kilogram of cocaine to the Chief right away".

Actually, Officer, if you factor in the earth's rotation, we were all speeding

How do police on bikes arrest people?"All right, get in the basket."

I always duck down in the seat when I see a police officerso he can't see me texting while driving