battle of the sexes, n.One-Liners

I wish my wife would let me show her who's boss around here.

If a man said he'll fix it, he'll fix itThere's no need to remind him about it every six months

Boy: Want to hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it’s too long! Girl: Want to hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind, you’ll never get it!

I remember when my wife had laryngitis... fondly

I ran into my ex the other dayThen I hit reverse and ran into her again

If you can’t make a simple question sound like an accusation, you’re not qualified to be married.

Confucius say ... wise man buy wife fine china so she no trust him to wash it

It's dangerous for a man to marry a woman who looks good in black.

I've often wanted to drown my troubles . . .but I can't get my wife to go swimming

In my house, I'm the bossMy wife is just the decision-maker

My wife wanted a puppy, But I didn'tSo we compromised and got a puppy

I do what the little voices inside my wife's head tell me to do.

"What is your husband getting for Christmas?"Bald and fat

If you want my opinion you’ll have to ask my wife for it.

Why is it that a woman only believes what a man says when it’s a compliment?

A woman's mind is supposed to be cleaner than a man's, probably because she changes it more often.

Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?

Confucius say ... lady who go camping with man must be on guard for evil in-tent