drunkenness, n.One-Liners

I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables

When Miley Cyrus gets naked & licks a hammer it's "art" & "music"But when I do it, I'm "drunk" and "have to leave the hardware store"

The later I get, the drunker it is.

I was quite drunk last night, so I ended up taking a bus homeThat may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing

My yoga instructor came to the yoga session staggering drunk todayHe put me in an awkward position

Confucius say ... drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts

I slept like a log last night..Woke up in the fireplace

The problem with some people is when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

Confucius say ... to prevent hangover stay drunk