97 definitions
Alcohol (n.) is a product whose warning label should read: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
America (n.) is a big herd of cattle being led to the marketplace, not to be sold, but to do the buying.
America (n.) is founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal.
America (n.) is so addicted to consumption that even when the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise.
America (n.) is a country whose traditional values are: genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
The American dream (n.) is called that because one has to be asleep to believe it.
American football (n.) is a twentieth-century technological struggle while baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Baseball (n.) is a nineteenth-century pastoral game while football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
Baseball (n.) is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.
Bipartisanship (n.) usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
Boxing (n.) is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
Censorship (n.) is incoherent. In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.
A Christian (n.) worships a dead Jew on a stick.
Climate change (n.) is the end of humans, not earth. The planet is fine ... the people are fucked.