piano, n.All

The Piano is a utensil for subduing impenitent visitors. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

Typewriter. . . originally called the "literary piano", it was invented by Christopher Sholes in Milwaukee in the 1870s.

Piano is a bourgeois instrument.

Piano is, when upright, often a downright nuisance.

A Piano is a monster that screams when you touch its teeth.

Why are blondes like pianos?When they aren't upright, they're grand.

The Piano is generally a harmless thing if people would only let it alone.

What do you see when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?A flat minor

A Piano has a lot of keys but it cannot open any door.

What's got a trunk, four legs and lots of keys?A piano up a tree

The Piano is the poor man's orchestra

The Piano is a parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor... it is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.