olympics, n.All

China didn’t win its first Olympic medal until 1984.

The Olympics is an oversized sports conference where the nations of the world assemble every four years to bankrupt a host city for the purpose of showcasing the working-age men and women who are contributing the least to their nation’s gross domestic product.

Croquet was an event at the 1900 Summer Olympics.

The Olympics is about determining the second most athletic country in the world.

The Olympics is the only time when you hear 'Great execution by North Korea' and it seems okay.

Bronze medal winners are happier than silver medal winners. Bronze medalists are happy they won anything, while silver medalists are disappointed they didn't get gold.

Olympics is the only time you can represent America and not have to carry a gun.

The Olympics is an event that it would be far more fun to watch out of shape people compete in.

Tug-of-war was an Olympic sport in the early 1900's.

Olympic gold medals today only 1.3% gold. Not since 1912 have they been pure gold.

The Olympics isn't just a young person's event --- The oldest gold medalist, at the age of 72, won gold in shooting in the 1920 summer games.

The Olympics is an event where everyone cheers as much for the North Koreans as for their home country's athletes, because it's faily certain that when North Korean athletes don't win, they're executed.

The Olympics is a level of competition that is incredibly difficult to enter, but we can all console ourselves with the thought that we have the same number of Olympic gold medals as almost everyone who has competed in the Olympics.