Hanukkah

dad joke

dragon

menorah

Christmas

Bill Clinton

candle

Viagra

dreidel

dreadlocks

knight

challah

Star Wars

Han Solo

Judaism

spelling

present

one-liner

Jewish mother

Christmas tree

latke

is a vapid and annoying effect of banal multiculturalism whereby, for once, instead of Christianity plagiarizing from Judaism, the Jews borrow shamelessly from Christians in the pathetic hope of a celebration that coincides with Christmas.

'If one could nominate an absolutely tragic day in human history, it would be the occasion that is now commemorated by the vapid and annoying holiday known as 'Hannukah.' For once, instead of Christianity plagiarizing from Judaism, the Jews borrow shamelessly from Christians in the pathetic hope of a celebration that coincides with 'Christmas,' which is itself a quasi-Christian annexation, complete with burning logs and holly and mistletoe, of a pagan Northland solstice originally illuminated by the Aurora Borealis. Here is the terminus to which banal 'multiculturalism' has brought us.'

is the celebration not just of the triumph of tribal Jewish backwardness but also of the accidental birth of Judaism's bastard child in the shape of Christianity.

'... To celebrate Hanukkah is to celebrate not just the triumph of tribal Jewish backwardness but also the accidental birth of Judaism's bastard child in the shape of Christianity. You might think that masochism could do no more. Except that it always can.'

My Archive

is a holiday that teaches us that the proper response is not to curse the darkness but to light a candle.

The proper response, as Hanukkah teaches, is not to curse the darkness but to light a candle.

is about trying to survive the darkness on the far-fetched hope there's still some life and light left in the universe.

That's what Hanukkah is about: trying to survive the darkness on the far-fetched hope there's still some life and light left in the universe. It's more than just a religious story. The days have been growing shorter, imperceptibly but inescapably darker.... Heading into the night of the winter solstice, every spiritual tradition has some kind of festival of light. We're all just whistling in the dark, hoping against hope that someone up there will see these little Hanukkah candles and get the hint.

darkness

light

is a holiday whose miracle was not that the oil for the sacred light lasted as long as they say... but that the courage of the Maccabees lasted to this day.

The miracle, of course, was not that the oil for the sacred light - in a little cruse - lasted as long as they say... but that the courage of the Maccabees lasted to this day: let that nourish my flickering spirit.

is a festival of lights, and just as Hanukkah candles are lighted one by one from a single flame, so the tale of the miracle is passed from one man to another, from one house to another, and to the whole House of Israel throughout the generations..

Just as Hanukkah candles are lighted one by one from a single flame, so the tale of the miracle is passed from one man to another, from one house to another, and to the whole House of Israel throughout the generations.

is a celebration of resisting assimilation, which today is celebrated by assimilating.

is a holiday that celebrates the defeat of a vast modern empire buy a small group of religious fanatics.

hanukkah, n.Dad Jokes

Keep exploring hanukkah→

hanukkah