salad, n.Dad Jokes

What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?Chicken sees a salad

What did the cop say to the salad when cuffing him?You have the right to romaine silent.

Why was the waiter fired on his first day of work?The manager yelled out “Seize her salad!”, so he did.

How do you turn a regular salad into a caeser salad?Stab it 23 times

Why did the boss bring his angry employee a salad?Because he had been demanding a celery increase for weeks

What does a priest say at a salad's funeral?Now lettuce pray

What's an epileptic's least favorite type of salad?Seizure salad

Did you hear about the rash of brutal salad arson/murder cases?Yeah, all they ever keep finding are chard romaines

Why did the tomato blush?Because it saw the salad dressing

Why did the salad win an awardIt went above and beyond the kale of duty

What are the last pieces of salad at the bottom of your bowl called?The last romaines.

Did you hear about the salad that was arrested for public indecency?It refused to get dressed

Why did the dying man buy a ticket to France?It was on his baguette list

Why did the trans man only eat salad?Because he was a herbefore

Why didn’t the guy's fruit salad get sunburnt?Because he put plenty of melon-in

How could you tell the woman was especially ugly?A cannibal took one look at her and ordered a salad

Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening?There might be a salad dressing in there

What did the lettuce terrorist say during the hostage situation?Everyone romaine calm!

Do you know the recipe for honeymoon salad?Lettuce alone without dressing

What's a Libertarian's favorite salad?Lettuce alone