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Dad Joke.com

What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?Get married on his birthday.

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How do you get a blonde to marry you?Tell her she's pregnant.

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Why don't women fart when dating?They don't have an ass hole till after they are married

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How can you tell if your wife is dead?The sex is the same but the dishes pile up

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What did Winnie the Pooh get married?He heard he'd get a honey-moon

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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?To stop the snoring before it starts

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Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?The thief was spending less then his wife

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Which is the word that starts with M and ends in ARRIAGE and it is man's favorite thing?Miscarriage

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Why wouldn’t anyone marry the gardenerHe was too rough around the hedges

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What do you call the marriage of two old socks?Hole-y matrimony

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What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?Outlaws are wanted

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Why did the man wear his wedding ring on the wrong finger?Because he was married to the wrong woman

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Why did the bee get married?Because he found his honey

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When in our culture do people offer congratulatations for a mistake?On their wedding day

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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?It’s just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins

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