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What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?Get married on his birthday.
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How do you get a blonde to marry you?Tell her she's pregnant.
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Why don't women fart when dating?They don't have an ass hole till after they are married
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How can you tell if your wife is dead?The sex is the same but the dishes pile up
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What did Winnie the Pooh get married?He heard he'd get a honey-moon
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?To stop the snoring before it starts
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Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?The thief was spending less then his wife
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Which is the word that starts with M and ends in ARRIAGE and it is man's favorite thing?Miscarriage
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Why wouldn’t anyone marry the gardenerHe was too rough around the hedges
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What do you call the marriage of two old socks?Hole-y matrimony
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What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?Outlaws are wanted
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Why did the man wear his wedding ring on the wrong finger?Because he was married to the wrong woman
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Why did the bee get married?Because he found his honey
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When in our culture do people offer congratulatations for a mistake?On their wedding day
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?It’s just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins
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