Gardening (n.) is a process of learning that everything that grows like a weed is one.
Gardening (n.) enables an amateur to raise beautiful flowers without having to learn how to spell them.
Gardening (n.) is where one learns that the difference between annual and perennial plants is that the perennials are usually weeds.
Gardening (n.) is where the very best of gardening tools is still a simple spade with wife attached.
Gardening (n.) is an activity whereby seed packets are just about the right size for storing one's crop.
Gardening (n.) is an activity whereby the only thing an amateur grows is round-shouldered.
Gardening (n.) is good for the waistline, but the trouble is that it's even better for the appetite.
Gardening (n.) is one of the earliest symptoms of lumbago.
Gardening (n.) is difficult — the illustrations on a packet of flower seeds seem to show, in detail, what the flowers will not look like when they come up.