The Child (n.) is a great comfort in one's old age, and helps one reach it faster too.
A Child (n.) is a little person for whom all troubles are big.
A Child (n.) is a natural mimic who acts like their parents in spite of every effort to teach them good manners.
The Child (n.) always plays on our emotions: they are either a lump in the throat or a pain in the neck.
The Child (n.) is always a genius up to the age of six.
The Child (n.) is always being told to eat more by parents who are always being told to eat less.
The Child (n.) is always spilling things-sometimes at home, but more often at the neighbors.
The Child (n.) is always wasting time trying to convince their parents that it was someone else's fault.
The Child (n.) is at its best after they're too old to spank but before they're too clever to reason with.
The Child (n.) is father to the man, except when the child is a girl.
The Child (n.) is grateful to Santa Claus for filling his stockings with toys; why aren't their parents grateful to God for filling theirs with legs? -Chesterton If you can't be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have--escaped.
The Child (n.) is so sophisticated nowadays they don't even believe that the stork brings baby storks.
A Child (n.) is sure to brighten up a home, often with every color in their paint sets.
A Child (n.) is sure to bring his parents closer together-usually in self-defense.
A Child (n.) is a terrible listener when being talked to — if you don't want your children to hear what you're saying, pretend you're talking to them.