Definitions HQ

The Double-bind (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠a situation where every alternative is forbidden — "Have you stopped beating your wife? Yes or no!"

The Double-bind (n.) waited ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠out flips: the sense that every road is barred switches abruptly into the sense that every road is open.

Double-bind (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠creating the problem by trying to solve it — worrying because one worries, being afraid of fear.

Double-bind (n.) commands ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠two mutually exclusive actions while forbidding any comment on the paradox: damned if you do, damned if you don't, and you mustn't notice.

Double-bind (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠broken by the ability to comment on it — and social institutions, being observable, can be commented on.

Double-bind (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠a command with a hidden contradiction — "Stop being self-conscious!", "Try to relax," "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?"

Double-bind (n.) turns ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠up in every marriage: a wife complains she's never taken to the movies, and when he offers, she says he's only asking because she complained.

The Double-bind (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠a demand to make a decision you cannot or must not make — the bind epitomized by a book called You Must Relax.